As I am getting ready to tuck myself in tonight for a big day tomorrow at the MTH2013 Conference, my heart is fluttering or maybe flipping is a better word to describe it.
I don’t feel like I have it all together. I have a beast of a website to finalize, I am healing a broken foot, I need to plan to hire two assistants on, this list is never ending. I want to be more focused, more organized. While I understand this is all in the making, I want it tied up into pretty bows. Especially when tomorrow I walk into a meeting full of people that might expect that I have it all together.
I should right? I have been to 100 million MTH’s. I lead it with these two amazing women, for goodness sake, I should have this down pat. Right?
Even though these feelings are crazy real beneath all of the uncomfortable fear, I have a major sense of HOPE. HOPE that God has me right where HE wants me. Peace that my heart will be challenged, push, and opened tomorrow. Even if I am a bit busted up and broken (pardon the pun) at the moment. My heart is tender……AND THAT IS OK.
That it’s ok to be scared. Even if you are a leader. It’s ok to be imperfect. Even if others look up to you. It’s OK.
The key isn’t putting on a fake smile, answering questions “the right way” and acting like you have it completely together every minute of everyday.
Life is a beautiful mess. The only way to stay connected to the beauty in your mess is to connect with it. It’s the KEY.
To sit and feel right where you are. NOT where you want to be. BE where you are. Even if it’s uncomfortable.
“The most important actions are never comfortable” says Tim Feriss, so bring on tomorrow with it’s big fears and butterflies. I am choosing to hope in the good that is going to come from sharing my authentic, NON perfect self. Excited to meet other hearts there.
In that beautiful, heart wrenching, make me want to jump up and down good.
Images by Last Forty Percent
