As I am getting ready to tuck myself in tonight for a big day tomorrow at the MTH2013 Conference, my heart is fluttering or maybe flipping is a better word to describe it.
I don’t feel like I have it all together. I have a beast of a website to finalize, I am healing a broken foot, I need to plan to hire two assistants on, this list is never ending. I want to be more focused, more organized. While I understand this is all in the making, I want it tied up into pretty bows. Especially when tomorrow I walk into a meeting full of people that might expect that I have it all together.
I should right? I have been to 100 million MTH’s. I lead it with these two amazing women, for goodness sake, I should have this down pat. Right?
Even though these feelings are crazy real beneath all of the uncomfortable fear, I have a major sense of HOPE. HOPE that God has me right where HE wants me. Peace that my heart will be challenged, push, and opened tomorrow. Even if I am a bit busted up and broken (pardon the pun) at the moment. My heart is tender……AND THAT IS OK.
That it’s ok to be scared. Even if you are a leader. It’s ok to be imperfect. Even if others look up to you. It’s OK.
The key isn’t putting on a fake smile, answering questions “the right way” and acting like you have it completely together every minute of everyday.
Life is a beautiful mess. The only way to stay connected to the beauty in your mess is to connect with it. It’s the KEY.
To sit and feel right where you are. NOT where you want to be. BE where you are. Even if it’s uncomfortable.
“The most important actions are never comfortable” says Tim Feriss, so bring on tomorrow with it’s big fears and butterflies. I am choosing to hope in the good that is going to come from sharing my authentic, NON perfect self. Excited to meet other hearts there.
In that beautiful, heart wrenching, make me want to jump up and down good.
Images by Last Forty Percent
Can’t wait to meet a fellow Minnesotan tomorrow! Sleep well 🙂
Can’t wait to see you tomorrow and I hear you sister – Life is a beautiful mess and be in the moment. xo
Yep. So spot on and encouraging to my heart, my friend.
BOOM! Your transparency at not having it all together but being willing to work it out together with people makes you special! You’ll be great tomorrow!
Gina, God is definitely using you right where you are, even in writing this post! It spoke VOLUMES to me– ME!: a girl different state, with a totally different career, and different problems! And just think, you hardly know me! This is a blog! But, you’ve just really helped me; helped me accept where I am as OK… THAT’S the God we serve!!!!! Making our uncomfortable comfortable … even FOR OTHERS! Strangers even! 🙂 That’s pretty amazing… I’m so thankful for THAT and for you taking the time to open up and share this… I have no doubt you will changes lives tomorrow when you open up even further! This sounds a little all over the place, but I had to comment… You’re going to rock it tomorrow!! (I went to MTH 2 years ago, and STILL think back on all. the. time!) HUG!
Oh, you are not alone. I feel so many of the same things you are feeling right now, my eyes started to water when I was reading. Powerful. You are grace-filled and glorifying God in every step and every word, YOU are going to change lives tomorrow!
Hi Gina – I know you probably won’t read this blog for several days, but when I saw the title of your post in my RSS feed this morning, I wanted to both cry and jump up and down at the same time. Uncomfortable is where I am right now. It’s where I’ll be in some capacity at all points. I am so frightened of a bazillion things right now, but I am also realizing that if I am uncomfortable (even at say, 10%), then I am moving in the direction God wants me to. And the biggest and best wins, joys, and moments are in the uncomfortable. At least that’s what I hear you saying here 🙂 You are going to be fabulously courageous today! xoxo
Gina this is such a wonderful post. You will be wonderful today at MTH. I still think of you looking right at me as we were in the room in LA. Thanks for being you and being an awesome inspiration!
Gina. I am SO with you, girl! I really needed to read this. Most days I really don’t feel like I have it all together either and it drives me crazy. Quite a frustrating feeling, isn’t it? I’m sure you will feel rejuvenated and energized after MTH and you are amazing, so you’ll figure it out! Have faith in yourself and your abilities. And, over here, I’ll try to take my own advice, too. haha.
Oh boot friend, you were so incredible this week. Thank you thank you thank you for not having it all together. You are the most wonderful role model and it is because you own your imperfections! You rock, Gina.