Can you believe it is March already? It seem like I wrote this post ages ago. Here is my February self portrait. Man let me tell you these don’t get any easier for me. A whole ball of emotions well up inside when I put together these posts.
This month was definitely plum-full of introspection. I have been processing my thoughts, moods and decisions in depth. I am fighting feeling uncomfortable and trying to get the core of my fears or beliefs that are holding me back. One of the specific things I have been wrestling with is how I see myself. I am utterly critical of every single imperfection I have.
I recently have been introduced to Hot Yoga and I absolutely love it. It’s a great workout and awesome detox because its between 105-109 the whole time you are in there. During the class the teacher instructs you to find your eyes/gaze in the mirror in front of you. Here comes me being super vulnerable….. I know this sounds small, but this is so hard for me. I don’t like looking at myself. The minute I lift my eyes I can only see my problems. My shirt isn’t fitting right, I am not small enough, my hair is making me look like a boy, my cheeks are chubby….I could go on and on people.
I don’t want to be this way. I want to look into the mirror and love the me that is present at that moment, boy hair and all.
I can’t wait till the month I share a self-portrait where I am not looking away, but proudly sharing the present me without reservations. Until then, I am working through it. Which is ok. Because it’s really about the journey and not just the destination, right Emily?