Oh my, this image just stopped me in my tracks. I literally jumped off my office chair and did a happy dance. In a world where we are all our own worst critics, let’s all find something today to be joyful about. Something that will fill your soul. Create it. A photo, a text to an old friend, running through a sprinkler, laughing really loud! Or possibly reminisce through older images of your family, make your favorite childhood meal. Whatever it is. Let’s challenge ourselves to do the little things with joy, no matter our circumstances. I promise to try my heart out to do the same. 
Overjoyed at these images! These two completely have my heart and I am feeling so grateful to be photographing their wedding this fall. Plus they made me fresh guacamole during there session, can it get better than that? 🙂 Thank you Jesus for some summer golden light, I have been waiting!!
Sometimes you just need to put momma in a swimsuit and capture naked shower time. I wish I could capture these images for every parent and their babies. Bath time is so nurturing and I love that my live-in sessions naturally capture this view into everyday life.
These images absolutely make my heart squeal.
First, I want to say thank you to each and everyone of you who took time to share words, a prayer, or encouragement after my last post about our struggle to have a baby . You all were so wonderful also about respecting our words. We are overwhelmed and grateful for each one of you! Thank you.
There are so many tough moments during this infertility road that it’s hard to know what to say to someone struggling with it. Everyone means well when they offer advice or encouragement, but it can sometimes cause hurt unintentionally. I just wanted to voice what I have learned so far through this process so that it might bless another going through it or their friends who have a hard time knowing what to say.
It feels :: I totally know this phrase comes from the best place when I hear it, but it can be hard to hear. As a Christian, I believe God only knows when and where and how and if we are going to be blessed with a child. I love that you mean well, but you don’t know that it is going to happen soon.
Better option :: I think the most wonderful thing to say to someone struggling to conceive a child is ” I am hoping for you” even ” I am hoping for you when you feel like you can’t hope anymore” those words hit my soul to the very core in the most tender way. Hope for your friends when they are struggling to hope for themselves. Prayer is always great too.
It feels :: Again, I know all of these suggestions are just because people want to help. Yet this one can really hurt my heart with frustration. Especially the second one. When I hear those words I can honestly say I have visualized giving someone a high five in the face with a chair. (Ugly, but true) I want to say dear friend, if you were going to over 7 appointments a month and having to take medication or supplements daily, could you not think about it? How could I not stress about it? Unfortunately I have no way to really not think about it.
Better Option :: Offer up something to get my mind off of the current hardship. Let’s go get our nails done, sip on some tea, take a walk in our sweatpants. Just the pure action of offering your time is wonderful and will help me get my mind off of all of this.
It feels :: Gosh I love when people have joyous victories and beautiful children at the end of this journey. It’s such a praise to the Lord God for answering prayer, but these words can sometimes be really discouraging when I can barely think about getting through this month. Goodness 9 years sounds so scary to me. Know that I don’t want to diminish your journey or time in struggling with infertility but “time” is sometimes hard to take in. Keeping it general has helped my soul.
Better Option :: Girl, I have been there and now am on the other side. It’s day by day challenge and I am hoping for you.
It feels :: I am so grateful for those who follow our journey via this blog and my social media streams! You are such a huge source of strength and comfort! But staring at my (or anyone else’s) midsection is just plain awkward. And second, maybe I did just eat one too many cheeseburgers that week! It’s important to remember that we, like all new parents, long for the element of surprise. . . I have really grieved the loss of this along our journey. We keep our family and friends updated as we ask for prayers as we walk this path. It’s hard to know that we will most likely miss out on the, “Surprise! We’re pregnant!” part of the game. I sometimes feel like I can’t invite family or friends over for no reason, because everyone’s wondering if there’s a big announcement coming!
Better option: Don’t ask infertility treatment/ovulation dates (and please, don’t try to ascertain them by dissecting blog and social media posts). And for the love of all that is beautiful in this world, PLEASE don’t stare at my midsection (or anyone else’s for that matter). 🙂 We’re excited to surprise y’all when and if the Lord blesses us the way we hope he will.
It feels :: Truthfully, the ugly emotions and tears—this has been the toughest part of this walk for me. I just plain and simple don’t feel like my normal self. Whether it be my heart is just breaking month after month or the fertility treatments, I seem to have a hard time being my normal upbeat self. Especially around those closest to me. I avoid contact and long conversations, because some days I am just really close to crying my face off in public. Overall I honestly do feel peace and joy most of the time. Yet, the anger, bitterness and pain are all still there too. It’s crazy how you can be so trusting in the Lord’s plan, but so sad at the same time.
Better Option :: All that to say. Please don’t take it personally. I promise it’s not you, it’s me. I do want to be held accountable and not get the get out of jail free card just because of this trial, but know that I am trying hard somedays just to get through. Also, just ask me what’s on my heart once and awhile and I promise I will try to give you the honest answer.
Know that this isn’t an all inclusive list and that I probably said these things many times before I was walking this road. We all make mistakes, say the wrong thing and hurt feelings so know I have no expectations, just wanted to write a post that may or may not be helpful for those who don’t know and to hopefully share some laughs with other women hearing the same things.
These are the moments that I am overwhelmed with gratitude that this is my job. Yesterday was my three year anniversary of leaving my full time job. Wow. What a blessing. Sure there are bad days and good days of being self employed. Yet, creating like this trumps all the hard stuff. I just love walking away from a session with a happy heart and full camera. Knowing I gave my all in serving my clients. Thank you to each of you that have invited me in to your world, homes and hearts to capture moments like these in the last six years. Each of you have brought me here to this moment today, by believing in me. Thank you, with all of my heart thank you. 
Most of us started out taking photos because we were inspired and just crazy excited to pick up our camera and create images. Create for your clients, create for you and just take photos of everything you see. I actually remember taking photos of old school nintendo games when I first started, no joke. Yet, often there can be a time in your photography career that lugging your camera around becomes work. Most of the time it isn’t on purpose. You just get more and more busy and you are booking like mad. You need a break, your body needs a break. Which is all normal and natural. It’s also hard as a photographer to bring your camera to any (family, friend) event and not be “responsible” for producing images. So we put them down and use them only during “work”.
I don’t know about you but I miss that time of creating for no reason. To be amazed. To shoot with absolutely no pressure to make anything. No pressure to produce your best of best work. To experiment. To really fall in love with my camera again.
In my early days of shooting, I used to do tons of work just for me because I had the time. Now, with my travel and shooting schedule and trying to get 101 things done each day it nearly has disappeared. This “me” work feels frivolous.
Yet, I have learned in the last month that this is actually THE KEY. This weekend I brought my camera to the cabin. Swung it around my neck and walked around. No agenda, just to capture what I see. Friends, I am not a great landscape photographer. I would MUCH rather shoot people than an object. Yet these photos make my heart sing. Why? Because I walked around, took my time and just created in my heart. It blew my mind how much just an hour of doing this changed my heart about my camera.
I am going to start scheduling dates with my cameras. For no reason at all, at least once a month. I am not going to give myself a time limit, I just have to shoot something that is part of my life. Many of you probably are way ahead of me and doing this regularly, but I would love to support each other and start a little movement of taking the time to reignite the fire and love that camera again. I possibly will start a facebook group to keep accountability if you would like to join in the effort comment below, I would love to have you! Also here are some tips I have learned in trying this effort for myself.
TIPS ON FALLING BACK IN LOVE WITH YOUR CAMERA
1. Keep it simple and in front of you. I have set up a camera body and a lens just for the sake of being available in the house. If you have extra equipment do this, just to make your camera handy.
2. Turn OFF the perfection in your head. If you are anything like me I have to fight. “Can I really try that? Will others make fun of me?” thoughts that come up. You don’t have to share these images with a soul and WHO cares about this fake people in your head. Create what you see. Plain and simple.
3. Create a brainstorm list of places, moments, things to capture. If you drive by a cool park, write it down to remember. A fun wall or restaurant? Keep track of them so that when you actually have time you can go back there and create.
4. Plan but don’t plan. Yes, I think we all should block off time in our calendars to make sure this gets done. Yet, be ok with the spontaneous and roll with life’s punches. Some weeks will be harder than others and that is ok. This isn’t suppose to create more stress. Date your camera. For real y’all.
5. Shoot slow. During a wedding I feel that sometimes I have my finger glued to the shutter button to not miss that first kiss or that smile. Also, How I typically shoot involves a lot of movement so I am purposefully hitting that button. Yet, I love the way it feels to SLOW the freak down and really think about each image. Shooting film will do this for you right away. Each shutter release is worth $$, that is the beauty of it. Anyways, take deep breaths and shoot slow. Maybe even challenge yourself to 12 shots or 5 that day. Grow and have fun here will slowing down.
Alright. Are you ready to date that camera of yours? Take it out for a little stroll? I sure am. Also, share the love! If you have any tips on how you keep loving your camera share here, I am sure there are many more ways and I would love to be inspired by you!
