Today I am still hoping and praying that it is the Lord’s will that we will have our own adorable little baby someday. Even if it seems impossible right now. 
 
Today I am rejoicing and thankful for the Lord’s unspeakable grace in this long waiting season. Grace to be able to photograph maternity sessions and newborn sessions without one ounce of bitterness. (People often ask if it’s hard and honestly no! It’s been such a blessing to just feel pure joy while working. Truly a gift from God)

Today I am celebrating that I am not perfect and will go through trials here on this earth. Trials just like this one that breaks my heart mosts days. Why? Because they are breaking me down, piece by piece to become more like Jesus. To trust Him more. To see Him for who He really is. A good and loving father. 

Today I am setting my hope on God’s plan for our family. Which is bigger than I could ever imagine. I am continuing to reiterate and read in the word that He is good. He is for my good. He is for me. Even on the hardest days, it all has a purpose.

Today I am telling my future self to come back and re-read this truth. No matter what crazy, hurtful things that are happening in my life, to seek God and His goodness. Seek truth, not feelings or what everyone else says. Just seek His Truth. The only thing that matters.

My heart has been craving so much SPACE. Open time to just be. To breathe, to think, to sip tea. I am SO disenchanted with the busy of busy. With filling every month to the brim. 100/100 spent. Why do we do this to ourselves? What part of our society made it cool to have no rest?

I am boycotting busy. I am boycotting 100%. I want to live on the principle of 70/30.  70% of life and 30% of SPACE. Space for breathing and time to enjoy life to welcome new faces or projects. Doesn’t it sound delightful?? I LOVE these words from Kristin Armstrong in her amazing book Mile Markers.

“I have enough goals, enough responsibilities, enough items on my revolving to-do list, just like everyone else I know.  If we think to much about what needs to get done, we can stagger under the weight of it all.  Not just what we have to do, but the people who are depending on us to get it done.  We have so many cups to fill that we are like an endlessly pouring pitcher.  Some for you, some for you, here you go honey, hold it with two hands, that’s it…

This is fine, better than fine, I am not complaining, like you I feel blessed to have cups to fill at all.  And blessed in the attempt to fill them.  But the factor we cannot neglect is not so much importance of filling the cups, but of replenishing the pitcher. And this is what finally snagged my heart.  The reminder to all of us to stay filled, to remain connected to our source, to refill before we run dry.  -Kristin Armstrong | Refill“

AMEN sister. Refill time. Time to wander, to fill my pitcher so I can be a better wife, photographer, mentor, daughter, sister, friend and follower of Christ. Let’s challenge ourselves throughout the end of this year to not feel guilty about taking time to refill our pitchers. 

  Contax 645 | Ektar 100