Trial and Error. Succeed and Fail. They truly go hand and hand.

Risk to reach for something big.

I don’t I do enough of this. Somedays its just easier to play safe, to work with the poses I know or the routine of my life, even if its not what I want. But what does that do besides leave me right where I am. No forward motion. So fine, you can stay there, but I want to grow, mold, mash in my life and in my work.

The only way to do this is to try. To fall on my face. To make mistakes. To get to “that” or get “there”.

For example, I had about 5 poses before this one that I tried. I was just following my gut and trying my hardest to not judge my random posing ideas. Literally, my clients and I stopped mid one of my ideas, because it was that terrible.  I think I even said “ummm. no, you just look like you are baptizing her. Let’s stratch that one”  Two movements later, this came to me.

I would never have gotten this image if I would have worried about my clients thinking I was crazy when I asked them to get into the lake at 8pm, or worried about the different posing I was trying. I would have never been working for myself if I would have played it safe. I would have never been here in this moment if I wouldn’t have tried something new, something out of my comfort zone.

So what are you waiting for? Cheer your self on during your failures, just like this awesome clip. There is brilliance in each step.

Ginaism of the day :: Gina, get over the fear of your clients judging you while posing or shooting. They have hired you because of your work, your brain, your creativity. Not everything is going to work, and even if they ask about that one pose, just stand firm and say it didn’t turn out. You need to play during your sessions. To be in that moment with each client. This is where you create your best work. Continue on a quest for clients who truly understand this and value you. Quality vrs Quanity and real authentic connection that creates magic for all of us. It’s there, wait for it.

Somedays I wake up and I feel nothing. I am discouraged. My house is a mess. My body is a mess. My work is a mess. A day like today, where I had a million and one things to get done and not enough time or energy. I put off my devotions to now 7:00pm. Here I sit on my bed crying. No exact reason why, but just completely broken. Broken wide open. To be filled up, I write in my journal “Lord I am completely discouraged, feeling so not worthy and just hurting.” Then I hear myself and say in my head “Gina, what the heck, why don’t you have it together. Why on earth would you be crying?” What the heck is it, get rid of it now!”

Truthfully, I always want to know and understand why I am broken. I always want to know the cause, source so I can “deal” with it, or work through it. I want to know why I am struggling and more often I generalize that I am struggling and no one else is. My brain goes in circles about how to fix, or prevent these feelings and it  just leaves me in frustration and confusion.

After looking closer I realized, I am never actually letting the real feelings surface.

It is our human nature to cover up feelings. Normally I would run to the fridge, facebook or turn on hulu to tune out. To distract myself and push those feelings away with empty searching. But it has been placed in my heart this week to fight. Fight to walk in the spirit and to dig into the word, into God’s promises. To fight my human nature that will just drive me away from my faith.

God wants our brokeness. “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-29

It’s truthfully hard for me to believe this at times. My puny brain wants to tell God, I am toooo broken. My house is too messy. My photography isn’t good enough. My human nature wants to find its own way to deal with my problems. When God’s promise in Matthew 11, clearly states he wants us as we are messy, muddy, broken.

These photos are a representation of who I want to be as a daughter of God. I want to be able to accept my messy, my brokenness, maybe even jump into mud or sticky things in my life, with the assurance that my Father has my back. To not need to know the cause but trust that what is, is his will. That He is going to pick me up and wash me white as snow. I want to learn to smile through my tears, my pain and know that I am living by faith. To look up to Him in my puddles, covered in mud and smile, in peace because I completely trust in my Father.

This week I have really taken note that for me to authentically write I have to infuse myself prior or during my writing. It helps me to drop in and write from my heart by doing something that feeds my heart. Either a workout, in the bath, outside on the patio or in quiet time is where my writing flows the best from. Often when I “sit down” to write in a work setting. I get frustrated. I go blank. I can’t put my sentences together.

So pay attention this week. I encourage you to try and take note of the little things that make you enjoy your day just a little bit more. Find ways to infuse yourself. Whether that means email in your favorite chair, replying to fb in the pedicure chair, listening to a great song while cleaning your home or sitting on the rooftop in NYC with a glass of wine.

Experiment. Try a new thing or two. Get fancy.

You deserve the extra effort, because the more you infuse your heart, the more your heart infuses your work. Simple as that. 

Turn off the lights and the lamp goes out. Preplexed for a moment I go over to the lamp, it was just on. It’s still hot but just not working. Boooo. I thought to myself. I wanted  to read with a little lamp, not the big light. To unwind. A guest at a house not knowing wear to dig for lamps. I have a choice. Pout or roll with it.

Half way on my choice to roll with it, I see the new candle next to the lamp called fluffy towels. I smile and run into the kitchen for a lighter. God is awesome. Now I am reading and writing by candlelight, which is just utterly beautiful. Something I never would have thought of on my own,  I love God and his funny manerisms.

Cheers to cherishing these little moments of time,  that makes me feel SO grateful to be living, breathing and drinking in the beauty of the unexpected.

I found these photos & then these words above in my journal and just had to share it. Sometimes, we need to just roll with the punches and see what is to come, quite possibly it’s more awesome than you could ever have imagined. So today, when something unfortunate happens, slow down. Breathe in and embrace that moment. Hit traffic? Then turn up the tunes and have a dance party. Slow internet? Then take two minutes to ask yourself how are you really feeling today?  Choose to roll with the punches, choose your reaction. It might just surprise you!

Have you ever done a Burpee before? How about foam rolled? How about ran sprints or wall sits? If you haven’t or have no idea what I am talking about, click on this links above and try one. Thank me later.

None of these exercises are my favorite. They are uncomfortable. My body doesn’t get super excited by my 20th burpee, nor the last seconds of a plank or wall sit. Yet,we do them. We know the pay-off will be worth it. We know that if we sprint hard that it will pay off. We put faith in the exercises. We push into the uncomfortable willingly.

Why don’t we do this with our brains, our work, our relationships, our ideas?  Why don’t we put in the uncomfortable work to refine & renew.  Why don’t we take the time to assess our health in these areas and give them a mini workout. Most of us have trouble even sitting with the uncomfortable thoughts or dreams, that we distract ourselves. With food, with busyness, with our phones, computers, televisions.

Maybe you think you don’t have the tools or the right equipment. Wrong. You have everything you will ever need within. Now it’s just matter of discovery.

All you need is a minute or two to assess your heart, your thoughts, your work? First off all SLOW down enough to hear yourself thinking and breathing. Even if you have to lock yourself away in the bathroom for quiet, give yourself the gift of 5 minutes. Start by downloading. No judgment let the truth hit the paper and then after you are finished take a peek and circle what areas you want to  “put through a workout”

Start here. Burpee your brain. Feel free to email me if you get stuck, or if you aren’t clear. Let’s choose to not just go through the motions. I don’t want to sit anymore just going alot what life hits me with. I want to set forward motion towards my dreams and this “brain” exercise always clears the clutter and sets my feet in right direction.

Here is where I start my so called, Ginaism. Friends, after reading my self portrait project post a couple months after I wrote it I really realized that I resonate with my own words and for some reason even more when I talk to myself in third person. So that is what I am going to do and the end of some posts, just for me. Read if you would like, but no obligations.

Gina use your tenacity and heart in your workouts to transfer into the brain and heart work too. Think of the last 15 seconds of a plank when you are experiencing tough things. Know that it’s just there to work through, make you stronger and come out on this other side. And if it’s really tough think of the push-up planks that you detest, yet you do them. Push through. Push through. You have the strength, you have the knowledge, just tap into it.